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“This is a big business and they are missing out,” said Gonzalez, referring to popular dating app companies who don’t cater to older people.Tinder declined to comment when asked to provide its app’s age demographics and whether or not it thought its platform catered to older users.And though she didn’t join Tinder with specific expectations, something wasn’t clicking. “No one I met on the app, none of them, wanted a committed, long-term relationship,” she said.“A lot of them are looking for threesomes or just want to have a conversation, but what about me?At her age, Gonzalez said, she feels much more confident in who she is – a trait, she said, that younger men find appealing. She frequently matched with men 10 to 15 years younger than her because, she said, she was able to “hold a conversation.” For Gonzalez, dating apps only proved to her that her life wasn’t missing anything, except maybe the cherry on top.Bumble lets her go out to the movies and dinner with people and form relationships, even friendships, with men she would have never met before.This is also a truth Carolina Gonzalez, a writer in London, came face-to-face with after her 28-year marriage ended.
How do you find those few men who are out there who are looking for a relationship?“Though there is still a hope you will meet someone and fall in love, but I am probably never going to meet someone and have what I had before.” But that, she said, was also liberating.She was free to have 15-minute coffee dates, be vulnerable, and feel sexy.She’s also tried Happn and Ok Cupid, but quickly trashed them because she didn’t find a big enough pool of users in her age range, or found the app to be too trendy.Sites like e Harmony and Match, she said, seemed “a little too old” and hard to “get a full sense of who is available.” She enjoyed the control Bumble gave her, and the ability to not be bombarded by messages but to make the first move instead. The variety, though, “can be scary.” “When you just get out of a long marriage or a long relationship, it is weird to go out with anybody,” Gonzalez told me.
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She moved to Abu Dhabi in 2015 and was teaching at a university there, when a female colleague two decades younger introduced her to Tinder.